


The One Where Peter Reenacts Vines with the Avengers

by lucky_katebishop



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Bisexual Peter Parker, DadDevil, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is Jewish, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Social Media, Team Red, The Defenders - Freeform, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter, bruce and thor are in love fight me, civil war didn't happen, don't at me ok, let's ignore canon okay, neither did infinity war or endgame, the accords didn't happen, the avengers are all happy, this has no plot, this is purely fluff, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-02-26 00:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucky_katebishop/pseuds/lucky_katebishop
Summary: Peter Parker really didn't mean for it to get so messed up... he was just messing around with Tony's twitter. He hadn't meant a quick hack to turn into a large social media presence. But... when you have that many followers, why not exploit the Avengers?Or, the one where Peter decides to reenact vines with the Avengers (and later the Defenders) all the while communicating on Twitter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this chapter doesn't have any Vine references because I wanted to get familiar with how exactly I'm writing Peter and stuff, but the chapters ahead are gonna all be vines and stuff. I'm thinking the next chapter will be of Bruce/Thor. I'm really just avoiding Endgame feels right now so we're gonna focus on fluff!
> 
> Twitter handles (for this chapter)  
> Tony Stark: a dramatic bitch@tony stark  
> Peter Parker: peter-man@peterparker  
> Thor: imthor!@bruceamidoingthisright

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ change my name back, kid

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ I will when you change mine back

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ it was 1 time! I slipped up 1 time!!?!!

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ in all fairness I did just meet @ _bruceamidoingthisright_

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ what’s your obsession with @ _bruceamidoingthisright_ anyways

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ uhhh??? He’s a literal god???

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ but I’m Iron Man

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ [pic of surprised Pikachu meme] yOu’Re IrOn mAN????

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ that’s it you’re grounded. You’re banned from the lab indefinitely

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ if I’m banned how am I gonna switch back your name? [pic of “they had us in the first half, I’m not gonna lie” meme]

 

Peter was waiting for a response, but when he didn’t get one, he slipped his phone in his pocket, walking to his first class.

 

The only reason he had changed Mr. Stark’s twitter handle was because he _was_ being dramatic. They had been working in the lab at the tower, upgrading Peter’s web shooters so they could hold more cartridges without being heavier or bulkier, when Tony asked Peter how exactly he got his powers.

 

“Like, was it human experimentation? I swear if it was human experimentation and you’re only now telling me, I’m grounding you and then finding out whoever did that and killing them,” Mr. Stark said, handing Peter a screwdriver.

 

“Mr. Stark, please don’t kill anyone on my behalf,” Peter laughed, “and it was a spider-bite. When I was fifteen, I went on a field trip to Oscorp and got bitten.”

 

“Fucking Oscorp,” Tony mumbled, shaking his head.

 

“I mean, I don’t know. I was really excited that day. Oscorp was, like, my dream job,” Peter shrugged, going back to his work. He heard a tool drop on the concrete and turned around, only to see Tony with a fury in his eye.

 

“Get out.”

 

“What?” Peter asked, tilting his head at his mentor, whose arms were folded.

 

“ _Oscorp?_ That was your dream job? Fucking Oscorp?” Tony asked, who moved his hands to his hips. Peter tried not to laugh.

 

“Well SI is like really prestigious, so I didn’t think I’d even be given an interview-”

 

“No, enough excuses. Oscorp, kid? They’re affiliated with Hydra!”

 

“Wait, they are?” Peter asked. He made a mental note to check them out later. Tony took a sharp breath.

 

“Well, no-”

 

“Oh my god, Mr. Stark-”

 

“But they very well could be! They turned you into a human spider!”

 

“You can’t just go around calling corporations you don’t like Hydra, Mr. Stark!” Peter could see Pepper walking down the steps outside of the lab, holding up a clipboard to Tony.

 

“I think it would even offend Hydra if I affiliated Oscorp with them. Fucking Oscorp,” Tony mumbled, walking over to Pepper.

 

“Tony, we have to go over SI’s income real quick,” Pepper said to Tony, who grumbled. “Don’t give me that, Tony, it’ll only be for fifteen minutes. Oh, hi, Peter, how are you?” Pepper asked Peter.

 

Peter looked up from his web shooters and gave a warm smile to Pepper and waved.

 

“Hi, Miss Potts, I’m good. Do you need me to leave?” Peter asked. Pepper shook her head.

 

“No, we’ll only be a few minutes,” Pepper responded, resting the clipboard against Tony’s chest, who let out a groan.

 

“Why are you so nice to the kid and not me?” Tony asked. Pepper gave him a tight lipped smile.

 

“Tony, come on,” Pepper said, walking back up the stairs. Tony took a deep breath and tilted his head to the ceiling.

 

“Friday, look after the Spider-Baby. Make sure he doesn’t start a fire,” Tony said. He turned around to look at Peter, “behave, Pete. I’ll be right back.”

 

As Tony was walking up the stairs, Peter heard him mumble, “fucking Oscorp.” Peter shook his head and laughed, tinkering with his web shooters. He then looked up and went to the computer.

 

“Hey, Friday? Does Mr. Stark have a twitter?” Peter asked, typing up Twitter.

 

“Yes, Peter. It is Iron Man@ _tonystark_ ,” Friday replied. Peter looked at Twitter and saw that the last time Mr. Stark had posted was about four years ago, and that was only to wish Pepper a happy birthday. He assumed Tony must’ve forgotten and was trying to make it up to her.

 

“Is there any way I could change that?” Peter asked.

 

“No, I do not believe so.”

 

“Hm, initiate Baby Knows Best protocol and change his twitter handle to a dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_.”

 

“You do not have jurisdiction in that area, Peter.”

 

 _It was worth a shot,_ Peter thought.

 

“I will in about ten minutes,” Peter mumbled, taking out his phone, calling Ned. “Hey, Ned? How long would it take to hack into Friday’s server?”

 

* * *

 

He really didn’t think anyone would notice, least of all Mr. Stark. Especially since he never even posted anything. He forgot that Tony was engaged to Pepper Potts, the woman who noticed every little off detail and fixed it. She was very much like May in that sense. Even so, Ned and Peter made sure Tony couldn’t change it. It was under the Empire Strikes Back protocol (Ned’s suggestion.)

 

And he certainly didn’t think anything of responding back to Mr. Stark on twitter. He spent so much time around the billionaire that he forgot how big his social media presence was. He was only aware during lunch when Ned bumped into Peter, who was stuffing a sandwich in his mouth.

 

“Peter, what the hell is this?” Ned asked, shoving his phone in Peter’s face. Peter put down his sandwich and grabbed Ned’s phone, scrolling through Twitter. _Oh._ He was wondering why he was getting weird looks in the lunch line.

 

Tony Stark’s original tweet had gotten over _700 thousand likes._ Peter’s tweet with the surprised Pikachu meme had gotten almost just as many likes.

 

“Well fuck,” Peter said.


	2. WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is bored one early morning and finds Bruce in Thor's bed. Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ignores my other fics for this monstrosity* Actually this chapter has been written since like April (I actually wrote it during my art history class lol) but I didn't post it because I'm lazy! This chapter is so old Spider-Man was still in the MCU. This is actually my most popular fic so thanks guys! To everyone who comments and I don't respond, I'm sorry, I appreciate it I just forget sometimes.

bucksmetalarm@ _sandra_

Um this @ _peterparker_ kid is killing me???? 

 

500miles@ _500more_

@ _sandra_ for real tho who is this kid

 

ironman@ _defensesquad_

@ _sandra_ @ _500more_ his kid maybe

 

bucksmetalarm@ _sandra_

@ _imdefensesquad_ we’d know if he had a kid

 

500miles@ _500more_

@ _sandra_ i mean not really he seems like a pretty private person

 

youractions@ _haveconsequences_

@ _sandra_ he could have a secret kid that we didn’t know about

 

babey@ _bitcch_

@ _sandra_ @ _500more_ wait my cousin goes to school with @ _peterparker_ and its a genius school

 

500miles@ _500more_

@ _bitcch_ tony stark is a genius it would make sense!! c o n f i r m e d

 

bucksmetalarm@ _sandra_

@5 _00more_ i mean not really tho

 

youractions@ _haveconsequences_

Can we appreciate tho how @ _peterparker_ hacked into Tony Stark’s account???? 

 

Peter looked up from his phone, too shocked to say anything. It’s been like that for _hours._ His follower count had gone from a mediocre thirty to over _two thousand._ People questioning who exactly Peter was, and what his relationship to Mr. Stark really entailed. 

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Peter really didn’t think anything of hacking into his account. He was _bored_ and Friday was just right there, and Mr. Stark was upstairs having responsibilities and come on! Peter wanted to mess around a little. It wasn’t supposed to be blown so much out of proportion. That’s what he gets for pranking, he supposed. 

 

The worst prank he ever did was a couple months ago. And it happened because Peter was bored. 

 

Peter was bored. He was currently at the Avengers Tower, where every other weekend he spends time there to hang out with Tony and train (Mr. Stark insisted- demanded- that Peter start training after a solid month where he kept getting badly injured). He had spent the majority of the night on his phone, watching Vine compilations. MJ had sent him a compilation of Avengers as Vines (shockingly accurate for people who had never met them before.) He would be lying if he said he didn’t start tearing up a little when Spider-Man was included in one of the compilations (he chalked it up to sleep deprivation and recovering from a mild yet burdening panic attack). 

 

So what does a teenager with reckless behavior and hasn’t slept in over twenty-four hours do? He decides to fuck with Thor. 

 

He didn’t mean any harm. He _really_ didn’t mean any harm. He was just bored, tired, and a little angry because his subconscious decided to fuck with him. So he figured messing with Thor would help. Because even though he was a god, he was basically just a cute little puppy. 

 

So, with his head a little fuzzy, and his bones a little heavy, he grabbed his phone and walked out of his room at the crack of dawn, the fuzzy Iron Man socks Tony got him as a gag gift for last Hanukkah shuffling down the long corridors. 

 

When he walked in the elevator to go up to the floor above where Thor’s suite was, he yawned and rested against the wall, opening up his camera. 

 

“Hello, Peter, you’re up early,” Friday said, her monotone voice filling up the space. Peter had suggested to Tony that he should install some elevator music, maybe some smooth jazz, but he had laughed at him. 

 

“It’s not early if you never went to bed, am I right?” Peter said groggily. 

 

“You sound like Mr. Stark, Peter.” 

 

“Yeah,” Peter said noncommittally, shutting his eyes, resting his head against the cool metal. 

 

“Where can I take you, Peter?” Peter frowned and opened his eyes. 

 

“We’re not moving?” 

 

“No, we are not. You’re concerning me, Peter, should I inform Mr. Stark?” 

 

“No, I have a mission. I have to mess with Thor, Friday,” Peter said. Under his breath, he said, “I swear, this elevator was moving, goddamn.” 

 

“Language,” Steve Roger’s voice filled the elevator, making Peter jump in surprise. 

 

“W-what? The hell?” Peter asked, looking all around him. Unless Captain America got new powers where he could turn _invisible,_ he was not in the elevator. 

 

“Mr. Stark set up a voice recording of Captain Rogers saying, ‘language’ to be played whenever someone curses. He found it very amusing.” 

 

“I can never escape him, what with the PSA’s and now this, Christ. Friday, please take me to the upper level,” Peter said, trying to catch his breath. He was too tired for this. 

 

About thirty seconds later, the elevator doors opened, and Peter walked out into the hallway. He had only ever been in Thor’s suite once, and that was only because he got lost. He had _meant_ to go to Tony’s lab, but he messed up the floors, where he found Thor playing Wii sports - tennis to be exact. Apparently Sam had made fun of Thor for losing one of the matches so Thor was adamant about winning the next match. Thor made Peter play a few matches… he might have lost on purpose so he wouldn’t hurt the god’s feelings. 

 

Peter turned the corner to Thor’s bedroom, getting his camera ready. 

 

Recording, Peter opened the door slowly and with as much strength he could muster, shouted, “WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!” 

 

Peter was expecting some lightning, maybe some thunder. Maybe a few curse words, or some shouting. What he was not expecting, however, was Bruce Banner shooting up from the bed, his curls a mess and shirtless, groggily saying, “What the fuck? Peter?” 

 

Suffice to say Peter ran out of there as fast as he could and didn’t show to breakfast later that morning. 

 

A week later, Tony had personally arrived at Peter’s school once it was let out to convince him not to blow the training session off. Peter had been avoiding the tower in case he saw Thor or Bruce because he was so embarrassed. 

 

“Kid, get in. It’s really not that big of a deal,” Tony had said while driving slowly along the street close to the curb Peter was walking on. 

 

“No, you weren’t there. You don’t understand,” Peter had said, his hands clutched to the straps of his backpack tightly. 

 

“I’m not leaving until you get in this car.” 

 

Peter could hear the faint sound of AC/DC playing and could feel the cool air of the AC from the window. Peter stopped walking and got in, muttering profanities under his breath that Tony chose to ignore, for the kid’s sake. 

 

When Peter arrived at the tower, he saw Bruce with an apologetic look on his face in the living room. 

 

They spent forty minutes apologizing to each other about the incident without actually looking each other in the eyes, which made Tony want to pound his head into a door. 

 

“I should respect your boundaries! It’s none of my business!” 

 

“I’m so sorry, Thor and I… we’re just… we were doing grownup things and I-” 

 

“Jesus, no offense, Mr. Banner, but I never want to hear about your sex life ever again.” 

 

In the end, it all worked out. Peter always asked before going up to Thor’s suite and they never talked about Bruce and Thor’s sex life again. 

 

A couple months later, when Peter’s whole Twitter nonsense was going down, Peter stumbled across it while looking for videos to upload. 

 

After a quick confirmation from Bruce and Thor, Peter posted it to his Twitter account. 

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

Happy six months! @ _brucebanner_ @ _bruceamidoingthisright_

[video]

 

its not easy being green@ _brucebanner_

@ _peterparker_ thanks Pete! Sorry again!

 

imthor!@ _bruceamidoingthisright_

@ _brucebanner_ happy anniversary dear

 

its not easy being green@ _brucebanner_

@ _bruceamidoingthisright_ Happy Anniversary, love

 

babey@ _bitcch_

im crying ?????? this is so wholesome ?????

 

youractions@ _haveconsequences_

ok but imagine walking in on two avengers fucking thats wild

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

rip to @ _haveconsequences_ but im different??? 

 

peter-man@ _peterpaker_  

@ _haveconsequences_ my friend @ _mj_ just informed me that that sounded like i wanted to see them fucking and thats not what i intended im deleting my twitter b y e 

 

a dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

I would like to inform everyone that @ _peterparker_ and @ _brucebanner_ didn’t look each other in the eye for a good couple of weeks after this happened it was annoying and hilarious

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@t _onystark_ stop exposing me 

 

a dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ stop refreshing twitter and do your homework

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ yeah O K 

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

I think my favorite memory of Thor and Bruce has to be of them falling asleep on each other after a very long game of Monopoly. They had checked out after Tony monopolized half the board and Bruce had fallen asleep on Thor’s shoulder and Thor rested his head against Bruce’s head it was very cute

 

a dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _peterparker_ I’m serious, do your homework. As cute as the stories are, get to it or I’m coming over and taking your phone away. 

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _tonystark_ ok yeah right you’re gonna come to Queens ALRIGHT I’d like to see you try

 

thehivemind@ _sayshello_

@ _peterparker_ aren’t you afraid @ _t_ _onystark_ is serious??? 

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@s _ayshello_ it’s not like he’s actually going to do it, he’s just being dramatic

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

Anyways AS I WAS SAYING another favorite memory of Bruce and Thor has to be OH FUCK MR. STARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HE

 

a dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

I took @ _peterparker_ phone away sorry not sorry

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

Hah he forgot about my computer 

[pic of the we irritating meme]

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

Ok he called May and they grounded me from Twitter so this is my last tweet for who knows it was nice knowing you all

 

When Peter got his phone back the next morning, his Twitter feed was filled with questions asking all about Thor and Bruce and the avengers, but one stuck out to him. 

 

guy in the chair@ _nedleeds_

So @ _peterparker_ who do you think bottoms

 

Peter didn’t speak to him that day at school. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't how I meant for this chapter to go but oh well, you know the writer saying that the story is supposed to carry you or some shit like that I don't know it's 2 AM and I'm extremely tired. Thanks for reading pals. Comment it would mean a lot.


	3. Ms Keisha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets shot with a tranq gun and is high off his ass and Daredevil gets shot with a gun (Defenders chapter!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so lucky I rewrote this, it was originally so angsty but then I told myself to stop listening to The Lumineers and go to bed. Anyways enjoy my disaster of a fic I'm so tired, but this was my favorite one I've written yet. I actually started writing this in my film class when I was supposed to watch Casablanca but fuck that, that shit's boring. I curse a lot when I'm tired. You'll see that in the fic.

 Peter wondered what it would be like if he had never met Matt. Mr. Stark hadn’t been entirely thrilled that Peter had made friends with the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, but after hours of arguing and forced puppy dog eyes (and some background checks on Daredevil that led to almost nothing except the promise that he’s never killed) Mr. Stark decided to be quiet and passive aggressive instead of outspoken. 

 

Matt knew Peter’s identity, and vice versa. It took a good few days for Peter’s shock about Matt really being blind, and a lecture about ableism from MJ until Peter calmed down. It had turned from concern and confusion to pure fascination (something that both freaked Matt out and amused him.) 

 

See, Matt had a soft spot for Peter. He saw hope in him, an innocence that he was worried others would snuff out. He didn’t want Peter turning out like him, God forbid if that ever happened. Like a good Catholic martyr, Matt didn’t want Peter around him. He understood Tony Stark’s reservations, but there was something about him. Foggy and Karen made fun of Matt constantly, but he could hear the adoration and love in their voices whenever they talked to or about Peter. 

 

So Peter and Matt had a nice mentee/mentor relationship (Matt wasn’t ready to call himself a father figure and Peter was too embarrassed to admit that to himself). Matt loved Peter, he really did, more than he could handle at most times, but he also found him to be a pain in the ass. 

 

One such instance happened just a few months before. Peter and Matt were fighting stragglers of the Kitchen Irish. They had both managed to take down every single one, but not before Matt got shot in the stomach with a 0.9 mm and Peter got shot with a tranq gun (Peter got the tranq gun from Frank Castle when they were working a job, declaring that he didn’t want Peter using an actual gun). 

 

Technically, Peter shot himself with the tranq gun when he was trying to point it at one of the gang members, and that’s exactly how Matt got shot as well. 

 

Peter managed to web the guy up just moments before he got insanely high. Luckily, because of his metabolism, it didn’t pass him out, but it did make him very loopy. That’s how Matt ended up bleeding out of his stomach on the dirty ground and Peter laughing maniacally and screaming at the same time at the sight of blood. 

 

“Oh, shit!” Peter laughed, falling to the ground, looking at Matt. 

 

“Spider-Man, there’s a burner phone in my left pocket,” Matt breathed out, “call the first contact on there.” 

 

But Peter was too hopped up too comprehend what Matt was saying, and instead took out his own phone and started taking selfies of himself. 

 

“M-MJ’s gonna go batshit when she sees this! She’s uh, she’s been studying the um,” but Matt would never know what Peter was going to say because he trailed off, staring intently at his black phone screen. 

 

“Kid, seriously, reach into my pocket and call Claire,” Matt said through clenched teeth, trying to breathe through the excruciating pain. 

 

Peter looked hazily at the scene around him and then at Matt when he let out a loud scream. 

 

“Holy fuck! When did you get shot?” Peter asked, scooting away from the blood so his suit wouldn’t stain. At the time, he thought it was the most pressing issue. 

 

“Jesus Christ,” Matt muttered, reaching into his own pocket to get his phone. 

 

“MJ’s pretty. She’s just- she’s pretty. Don’t you think she’s pretty?” Peter slurred loudly while Matt was on the phone talking to Claire. 

 

Twenty minutes came and went, with Matt having to take care of himself while Peter laughed his ass off and went on and on about Michelle and Ned, and Tony Stark and sometimes Thor. Matt learned a lot more about Peter in those long minutes than he would have liked, such as a five minute slurred discussion about Peter’s attraction to Thor’s abs, as well as which colored highlighters Michelle prefers and the reasons why. 

 

When Claire arrived, Luke followed behind. He scooped Matt up like it was absolutely nothing to him, which made Peter look in awe (despite the fact that he could easily do that just the same- something that Matt tried to tell him). 

 

“But it’s _different_!” Peter yelled, “He’s strong and handsome! I’m just Peter.” 

 

“There goes the secret identity,” Matt groaned. 

 

When Claire led Peter to the car, he wouldn’t shut up about how pretty she was. 

 

“You remind me of my aunt, she’s a nurse as well. She’s the best and I love her a lot but I worry her,” Peter sighed after Claire instructed him to apply pressure to Matt’s wound. In the end, Peter was fidgeting too much so Matt had to do it by himself. 

 

“How you doing back there, Matt? Peter?” Claire asked from the driver's seat. 

 

Peter had started singing the Wii Sports music and gave Claire two thumbs up. 

 

“I want cheesecake,” Peter sighed as he stared out the window. 

 

Matt, who was still bleeding out, couldn’t help but give an affectionate smile towards Peter. A pain in the ass but an adorable pain in the ass. He could hear Luke chuckle from the passenger seat.

 

“I’m doing great, other than I’m slowly losing consciousness,” Matt muttered between his teeth.

 

“Peter, honey, try to keep him awake,” Claire instructed.

 

Matt remembered the twenty minutes of torture he had to endure just before and started shaking his head.   


“No, you really don’t have to do that, Pete-” 

 

“Oh!” Peter exclaimed, getting out his phone quickly. He started recording and pointed it at Luke and then Matt. “Ms Keisha! Ms Keisha! Oh my fucking god, she fucking dead!” 

 

It was then when Peter passed out, forcing Matt to fumble his way around the phone screen to stop recording. 

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, how the fuck do you turn this thing off?” was the last thing that it recorded. 

 

Overall, everything turned out alright in the end, the only drama happening was Foggy being passive aggressively mad at Matt for getting badly shot, and May freaking out that she couldn’t contact Peter that night (he stayed over at Claire and Luke’s). 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

_@peterparker_ Can I get in on this Vine trend? _@lukecage_ I don’t really remember this night but thanks for looking out for me @ _daddevil_ sorry if I annoyed you while you were dying

[video]

 

deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _spider-man_ When the fuck did I get a Twitter? 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _daddevil_ @ _deadpool_ and I made one for you when you weren’t looking

 

Luke Cage@ _lukecage_

@ _spider-man_ no worries, kid, I hope you got your cheesecake

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _lukecage_ lol what

 

deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _spider-man_ You wouldn’t shut up about getting cheesecake. I had to listen to your high ass talk about your girlfriend for twenty minutes straight as well. 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _daddevil_ OH MY GOD SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _spider-man_ Yeah, because I talk about how pretty my friends are in vivid detail constantly as well. 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _daddevil_ I have so much shit on you I could wipe that smug look off your face right now

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _spider-man_ How do you know I have a smug look on my face? 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _daddevil_ call it a hunch

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _spider-man_ EXCUSE ME? When the hell did this happen and why didn’t you tell me? 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _tonystark_ oh my god I’m fine I just got hit with a tranq gun… well it was _my_ tranq gun to be exact

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _spider-man_ when and where did you get a tranq gun? And don’t think I’m glossing over the fact that you know Deadpool 

 

Shhhh this isn’t real@ _deadpool_

@ _spider-man_ @ _daddevil_ I missed the kid getting high??? Fuck I’m mad, I miss all the great moments

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _deadpool_ stay away from @ _spider-man_  

 

Shhhh this isn’t real@ _deadpool_

@ _tonystark_ hey sweet cheeks, I’d like to see what you’d do if I don’t

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _deadpool_ stop provoking him @ _daddevil_ HELP 

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _deadpool_ did you give my kid a fucking tranq gun? 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _tonystark_ @ _frankcastle_ gave it to me when we did patrol together

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _spider-man_ CASTLE? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _peterparker_ I stand by your decision to change @ _tonystark_ name to that

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _spider-man_ thanks, man. Thanks for giving credit for the whole Vine thing

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _peterparker_ oh yeah, of course, it’s so funny!

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _spider-man_ @ _peterparker_ I’m going to fucking die STOP 

 

Avocado 2@ _mattmurdock_

@ _spider-man_ I just spent ten minutes trying to figure out how to make a Twitter account just to tell you @ _foggynelson_ and @ _karenpage_ won’t stop laughing at the video so thanks for that. We’re getting a lot of work done over here. 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _mattmurdock_ Oh, you’re so welcome. You worked with Daredevil, right? Sorry you can’t see the video! It’s basically @ _daddevil_ dying, the last five seconds are my favorite

 

Avocado 1@ _foggynelson_

@ _spider-man_ he just threw his phone across the room

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _foggynelson_ Oh, dear! 

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

Okay so @ _daddevil_ just texted me to tell everyone that I’m a nuisance and that he regrets ever getting to know me 

 

a poor tony stark@ _ironfist_

@ _spider-man_ @ _daddevil_ @ _lukecage_ Oh my gosh! I missed so much! Spidey, are you okay? Colleen says she loved your video! 

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _ironfist_ Oh, what? You’re not worried about me? I’m the one who got shot.

 

I need a drink@ _jessicajones_

@ _daddevil_ I mean are you ever ok

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _jessicajones_ @ _peterparker_ I’m fucking getting rid of my Twitter. 

 

peter-man@ _peterparker_

@ _daddevil_ woah why are you mad at me??? 

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

@ _peterparker_ oh for the love of fucking everything you’re the one who started this mxonsen

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _peterparker_ he’s got a point, man. @ _daddevil_ you okay? 

 

Deadpool says hi@ _daddevil_

 Oice to txt fuc,king veoke 

 

Shhhh this isn’t real@ _deadpool_

@ _spider-man_ wrap it up the author is getting tired

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _deadpool_ hi what the fuck does that mean

 

A dramatic bitch@ _tonystark_

@ _spider-man_ if you think we’re done talking about Castle and Deadpool we’re so not

 

imbasicallyanavenger@ _spider-man_

@ _tonystark_ Uhhhhhh sorry can’t talk! The author is tired!! 

 

Peter was about to put his phone away when he got a direct message from Michelle. 

 

topplethepatriarchy@ _mj_

Hey nerd, heard you thought I was pretty. Wanna date? 

 

Peter might’ve died right then and there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm tired so this is gonna be short. I'm preparing for whumptober (or flufftober like I want) so I'll be pretty busy but I'll try to keep up with this story. If you want to talk to me on tumblr or give me recommendations, my tumblr is lucky-katebishop
> 
> I'm going to write a Harley chapter next, and then I want to write a Young Avengers one (Loki appearance!!) Oh also if you were wondering what Matt said, he said "voice to text fucking broke"


End file.
